How do you express your grief on the occasion of the death of a loved one? What do you do or say to bring comfort to someone grieving?

In Cambodia funerals are a big deal for a community. Many friends and relatives of the deceased will attend a funeral daily for three or four days. Even if you are not closely related, at least one family representative will attend part of the proceedings.

At a Cambodian funeral you are unlikely to hear expressions such as “I’m sorry for your loss” or “my condolences for your loss”. The common expression is something more along the lines of “please share (or divide) your sorrow with me”.

When Jesus attended the funeral of Lazarus, the Khmer Bible describes the Jews who were ‘comforting’ Mary, using a word that isn’t a term used at a funeral here. In a communal culture you don’t just express words of sympathy, you physically bear some of the grief by ‘spreading it out’ among the community.

Even as foreigners in Cambodia, somehow it also feels wholesome to take the time in community for several days to share and deal with grief. A brief service in a church, or a graveside in Australia, doesn’t seem adequate for us after attending funerals here in Cambodia. It is indeed a deep privilege to shoulder some of the grief by the very action of participation in attending ceremonies and eating rice together.

Having access to a team vehicle has also been useful as Rob has been able to drive funeral officials on a couple of occasions. Deb and some of our team members were able to join with our village friends, walking in the procession to the crematorium.

What must it have been like for Martha and Mary when Jesus attended their brothers’ funeral? Apart from the miraculous outcome, Jesus’ presence must have been even more than just a comfort when he was moved to weep along with Mary.

It is a special honour that we share in seeking to love and serve like Jesus when we can be present with community at special events like weddings and funerals.